February 27, 2026
Dear Friends,
Yesterday, we made it official. And today I want to tell you why.
What began nearly two years ago as a question — who does our community need us to be? — became a process we couldn't have scripted: conversations held without ego, input sought without agenda, and an openness to being genuinely changed by what we heard. And then, because transformation doesn't happen on a schedule, eight more weeks. We wouldn't have had it any other way. We are ready.
Why these changes — and why now?
On Your Feet was founded at a pivotal moment in adoption history, when open adoption was emerging as best practice. That shift mattered. But it did not go far enough. It did not reckon with the deeper truth: that the adoption industry was built to serve the desires of predominantly white, privileged prospective parents — not to center the needs of mothers and their children. Family separation was reframed as opportunity. Trauma was minimized if not ignored entirely. First parents were left behind, told to move on, forget – and forgotten.
When I joined On Your Feet a decade ago, I was told clearly: On Your Feet does not take a position on adoption. Over these ten years, through careful study, hard conversations, and the trust our community has placed in us, our Board, staff, and I have arrived somewhere different.
We take a position now.
We believe adoption should only occur when all other options have been exhausted. We believe resources should be devoted to keeping biological families intact. We believe that power and privilege do not make someone a better — or even a good — parent. And we believe that everyone involved in adoption — professionals, prospective adoptive parents, and those touched by it in any way — deserves the full, honest truth about its history and its lasting impact. That means going in with eyes wide open.
This is not a statement against adoption or adoptive families. It is a commitment to honesty, accountability, and the community that has carried the weight of adoption's consequences for far too long.
We exist because adoption exists. And our greatest hope is that one day our services will no longer be necessary. Until that day arrives, we will be here, meeting first/birthparents where they are, for as long as we are needed.
What's new — and what's next.
Becoming the Birthparent Support Alliance gives us the clarity and mandate to show up more fully: advocating, educating, and working toward an adoption landscape that truly serves the people most affected by it.
Through Activism in Adoption, we are renewing our commitment to ensure that the voices of first parents and adopted persons lead every conversation — with professionals, with policymakers, and with anyone building their family through adoption. The people most affected must be the ones leading these conversations.
Shared Journeys Collective is our direct service home — a dedicated space for first parents and members of their families, entirely separate from agency messaging, adoptive family content, or donor/sponsor communications. When someone from our community comes to us, they will find only what is relevant to them: care, community, and connection.
We are also deepening our clinical work. We know that the emotional and psychological weight of placement — grief, loss, identity, and the ongoing complexity of living in relationship with adoption — does not resolve on a timeline. Research, including sociologist Dr. Gretchen Sisson's groundbreaking work on the experiences of placing parents, has made clear that first parents are at significant risk for a range of mental health challenges, and are routinely excluded from the postpartum and maternal mental health support that every parent deserves. We are incorporating mental health screening and trauma-informed, goal-oriented therapeutic care into everything we do, because our community's well-being is not an afterthought. It is the work.
To be clear about our scope: we do not work with expectant parents who are considering adoption. That is not our lane. What we will always do is ensure that anyone who has placed a child, or who becomes pregnant again and seeks support to parent, knows we are here — without judgment or agenda.
Join us.
Twenty-five years of this work deserves to be recognized — and we hope you'll share in this milestone with us.
This April, we invite you to Gather: License to Give, a Casino Royale-themed gala on Saturday, April 25th, 2026. It will be an evening of community, purpose, and renewed commitment to the work ahead.
We are proud to honor Dr. Gretchen Sisson, sociologist and author of Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood, whose research on the experiences and outcomes of placing parents has shaped the national conversation on adoption and aligns deeply with our commitment to maternal mental health and first parent well-being. We could not think of a more fitting honoree for this milestone moment.
Learn more and get your tickets today!
If you can't join us in person, please consider making a gift to support this work. Every dollar goes directly toward serving a community that has been overlooked for far too long.
Support the Shared Journeys Collective.
Thank you for your support, your generosity, and your belief that first parents deserve better. This moment belongs to our community — and to everyone who shows up for them.
With gratitude and purpose,
Alexis Eyler, MSW
Executive Director
Birthparent Support Alliance
